Lessons for life: The value of moral principles

Lessons for life: The value of moral principles:  Core moral principles are essential to liv e life the right way and be true to yourself I believe that we can and should all ...

Lessons for life: My blog is intended to be a modern day guide to li...

Lessons for life: My blog is intended to be a modern day guide to li...: These days, choosing religion to live life the right way is no longer appealing to most, especially for the generations younger than our ...

My blog is intended to be a modern day guide to living the right way

These days, choosing religion to live life the right way is no longer appealing to most, especially for the generations younger than our parents.

Religion is seen as outdated, old fashioned and not relevant to modern day living and is often confusing and misunderstood which is how I see it too.

As a result many people are no longer living life with a core set of morals and values thus losing their sense of right and wrong.

In my blog I want to try and share with you some of the principles I choose to live by which is all based around doing the right thing for the right reasons, as then, regardless of whether others agree or disagree it does not matter so long as you have been true to yourself.

"So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good about after and what is immoral is what you feel bad about after"

Ernest Hemingway    


"Never apologise for being yourself"

Paulo Coelho


"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobodys going to know whether you did or not"

Oprah Winfrey  

Lies, Lying and Liars

What is a lie?

This is the definition of a lie from Wikipedia;

"A lie is a statement that the stating party believes to be false and that is made with the intention to deceive. The practice of communicating lies is called lying, and a person who communicates a lie may be termed a liar. Lies may be employed to serve a variety of instrumental, interpersonal, or psychological functions for the individuals who use them. Generally, the term "lie" carries a negative connotation, and depending on the context a person who communicates a lie may be subject to social, legal, religious, or criminal sanctions.'' 

Is it ever justifiable to lie?

In my opinion, no lie is ever justifiable or the right thing to do! However a white lie, a true white lie, such as saying your dinner was nice, which if found out cannot cause damage or hurt to another may be an exception but can you be sure that a white lie in your eyes is not seen as a lie to another?  Personally Im not a fan of white lies either and believe honesty is always the best policy. I am not one to say my dinner was nice if it wasnt; more likely I would say it wasnt one of my favourites but nothing wrong with it if you like that dish and thanks for making it....otherwise the chances are they will make it for you again if you say it was nice!   

I hear people often justify their lies by claiming it is to protect another or save hurting their feelings! Even calling them white lies but wouldnt see it that way if the shoe was on the other foot! 

How can deceiving another protect them or save their feelings, especially if the truth of what you have done would hurt them? If they need protecting or their feelings saving, how on earth will they feel when they find out you lied to them about what you have done as you knew it would hurt them? So now cannot trust you..do you think they will feel protected and safe? I very much doubt it! They will probably feel that not only have you lied to them, you have decided what they can and cannot deal with in life so you also view them as weak.  

For me, I would feel that not only do you see me as not important or valued enough to be honest with me, you also see me as incapable of deciding for myself what I can handle and deal with and that the only person you were protecting was yourself!.

Most people can handle the truth, its the lies that they cannot deal with! 

So if you are genuinally a person who believes you only lie for the reasons above, then think again. Why dont you ask the people you feel you want to protect, hypothetically, what they would rather you do before the situations arise.  Please do let me know if any of them can give you a scenario where they would prefer you to lie to them. (Not white lies, but while your at it, find out what constitutes a white lie to them too)   

The reasons people lie

Well as we have covered already, many people claim they lie to protect others as didnt want to hurt someones feelings!

Some justify to themselves that they have only told white lies or have not even lied at all if they just dont mention it, telling themselves well you never asked so its your fault you dont know the truth and technically they havent lied to you. 

Some people lie because they are scared to tell the truth and face the consequences (what they perceive the consequences to be) especially if they regret what they have done. 

Some lie as they dont regret it at all and hope to do it again. Some lie believing what you dont know cant hurt you. Some lie as it just makes life easier (for them of course). Some choose to lie as they are confident you will never find out anyway.  Then there are those who cant help but lie or have told so many lies, they can no longer tell the difference between their lies and reality and even start to believe their own lies.  

The only reason I think people lie is to protect themselves and cover their own back as they know what they need to lie about was wrong but did it anyway fully aware it would hurt you as their own needs were more important than your feelings at the time. 

 I am not suggesting that some dont regret what they have done or realise they made a mistake and initially lie out of sheer panic. We are only human afterall! 
However until you come clean, hold your hand up and take responsibility, it will keep causing more damage by eating away at you, putting a wedge between you and the other person, especially when the person you have hurt and lied to suspects and senses you are not being honest (and believe me they will always sense something is not right). The truth always comes out in the end so why prolong the agony and cause more unnecessary heartache to yourself in the main.

To end I will leave you with the following poem

Dont lie

Did you not learn in life early on, not to lie when you have done wrong?

Everyone makes mistakes so why lie about it and let it escalate!

If it was a mistake you regret, own up and learn a lesson from it you won't forget.

Your lie will end up hurting mostly you, by making you think others are deceitful too.

When you tell that first lie to cover your back, more and more lies you need to keep covering your tracks.

Your lie may seem like a short term win, is it worth it when long term it will destroy you from within.

You got away with it for now is how it may seem, but don't you know that lie has taken a piece of your self esteem.

If what your doing means you have to lie, then before you do it, ask yourself why.

If your actions mean you can't be true, then perhaps it's  something you shouldn't do.

Even when your lie is found out, your attempts to justify it, confirms you lied without doubt.

Telling so many lies has made it hard for you to see the boundaries between fantasy and reality.

Your starting to believe your lies are true so the person your lieing to the most is you